What If Influence Isn’t About Speaking First?
Have you ever noticed how some people rush to speak in meetings, eager to assert their ideas and take control of the conversation? It’s a common instinct—especially in leadership and sales. But what if the real power lies not in being the first to speak, but the last?
What if the person who waits, listens, and observes before offering their thoughts is actually the one shaping the outcome?
This isn’t just a rhetorical question. It’s a principle backed by some of the most respected thinkers in leadership and strategy.
Simon Sinek’s Leadership Secret
Simon Sinek, known for his work on leadership and organizational culture, once said:
“You will be told your whole life that you need to learn to listen. I would say that you need to learn to be the last to speak… The skill to hold your opinions to yourself until everyone has spoken does two things: One, it gives everybody else the feeling that they have been heard. And two, you get the benefit of hearing what everybody else has to think before you render your opinion.”
This quote isn’t just about etiquette—it’s about influence. When leaders speak last, they create space for others to contribute. They avoid anchoring the conversation with their own bias. And they gain a strategic advantage by hearing every perspective before forming their own.
I’ve seen this play out in boardrooms. A few employers I’ve worked with deliberately adopted this approach. They listened first, spoke last, and consistently made better decisions. Their teams felt heard. Their words carried more weight. Their leadership was respected—not because they dominated, but because they understood.
The Law of Strategic Silence
This principle also appears in Robert Greene’s The 48 Laws of Power. In Law 4, Greene writes:
“Always say less than necessary. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.”
Greene’s insight reinforces the idea that silence isn’t weakness—it’s strategy. Speaking less doesn’t mean disengaging. It means choosing your words carefully, and using timing to your advantage.
When you speak last, you’re not reacting—you’re responding. You’ve gathered information. You’ve read the room. You’re not guessing—you’re guiding.
Can This Work in Sales?
Sales is often framed as a game of control. Salespeople are trained to lead the conversation, ask the right questions, and steer the prospect toward a close. So how does “speaking last” fit into this model?
It fits perfectly—if you understand the psychology of trust.
When a salesperson speaks too soon, they risk pitching before understanding. They may offer solutions to problems that haven’t been fully revealed. But when they listen first—truly listen—they uncover the real pain points. They build rapport. They earn the right to speak.
Speaking last in sales doesn’t mean staying silent. It means listening with intent. It means letting the client feel heard before offering value. It means responding, not reacting.
Of course, this requires patience. It demands emotional intelligence. It may feel risky—especially when silence stretches longer than usual. But the payoff is real. When you speak last, your words are more likely to resonate. You’re not just selling—you’re solving.
The Global Relevance of Speaking Last
This principle isn’t limited to boardrooms or sales calls. It applies across industries and cultures. Tribal leaders in Africa, including Nelson Mandela’s father, practiced this in village meetings. The chief always spoke last, allowing others to share freely and building consensus before offering guidance.
Today, this same principle can elevate leadership in any organization. It fosters psychological safety. It encourages diverse input. It leads to better decisions.
Whether you’re leading a team, pitching a product, or navigating a tough negotiation, speaking last gives you the edge. It’s not about silence—it’s about strategy.
Conclusion: Speak Last, Lead Better
So here’s the challenge: in your next meeting, resist the urge to speak first. Listen. Observe. Let others share. Then speak with clarity and purpose. You’ll be surprised how much more impact your words have.
This isn’t just a leadership tactic—it’s a mindset. It’s a way of showing respect, building trust, and making better decisions. And it works in any type of company, from IT support firms in San Antonio to creative agencies in New York, fintech startups in London, innovation labs in Tokyo, and design studios in Cape Town.
Speak last. Lead better.
